Most parents feel tensed to discuss about sex with their children because they think that this will rob their innocence or they will start asking awkward questions. You may feel uncomfortable, but will shatter and regret it, when your thirteen-year old daughter tells you she is pregnant or your teenage son is infected with HIV.
Incomplete information causes harm
The reality is that most of the kids get sex education from everyone except their parents. A twisted description from some kid, playground jargon and obscenity or worst still a peek at some porn material on the internet or cable often provides a kid with the first unsympathetic glimpse of sex. ‘Libido' is the most meaningful activity between committed couple that turns out to be some freak show inquisitiveness - ‘Dad and mom did that?' Therefore, parents, who begin early can dominantly influence, overtake and overpower all the other voices.
Not telling kids too much before they are ready to understand and not waiting too much to have them influenced from negative, imperfect, incorrect sources.
From early infancy, kids observe the difference between girls and boys. Toddlers, when naked usually play with their own genitals, which is out of normal curiosity. Never scold them or they may feel ashamed of their private parts, but redirect their attention somewhere else.
From the age of three parents, need to make use of the appropriate words, which help the child to learn and use them directly without any embarrassment.
Depending on the kids age tell them how babies are born. It is 20th century, so grow up and avoid any kind of fairy tales. You can say that baby grows in the mommy's stomach. It comes out from a special opening in the vagina. Answers to the point will satisfy their curiosity do not explain sexual activity process because they will not understand. After 5 years, you can introduce books because parents find trouble saying the right words, but books can help.
Age 8 is appropriate because they are verbal, conceptual and flattered with responsibility of being a grown up. At this age, they are old enough to feel interested and not get embarrassed or close off or have any presumptions. This is the age, where girls learn about menstruation, whereas boys begin to recognize their physical changes.
After eleven years teaching and promoting sexual limit and responsibility is necessary. This age is dangerous and parents desire their children to get mature and enjoy committed sex. Therefore, parents must teach and encourage behaviour practice through honest and open communication with reasoning.
Importance of privacy
Privacy is a vital concept that every kid must learn, but it varies in every family. If your kid, barges in the bathroom do not over react, but gently ask him/her to leave. Later make them understand that what they saw is private. Moreover, they must always knock before entering anyone's room. Always abide by the dress code when kids are around.
Discussing sex gives you an opportunity to share your beliefs and values with your kids. Sometimes you will have to encounter embarrassing topic or questions, especially if you are a single parent, but remember your kid needs to know the truth. Kids must always recognize their parents as a reliable and honest source they can turn for to answer many awkward questions.
This article is written by Sarah.
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